i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
