Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just found puke in my bra..
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize