I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
