This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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