I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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