She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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