So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize