And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Randomize
