and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Randomize
