If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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