I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I look better un-naked...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
