Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
