Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize