a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Farmville is her only friend.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
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