That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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