i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
