plz talk dirty to me
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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