I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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