Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
