I must be too annoying 4 u.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
