theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize