Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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