i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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