This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
