so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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