I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
