we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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