I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
