We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
