as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
