Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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