We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
What a dumb baby whore.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
