Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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