So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
