i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
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He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
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Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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