i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
