Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
handjob tips. give me some.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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