In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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