She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
