I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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