she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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