The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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