I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love having hate sex.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize