i always forget guys have bellybuttons
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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