Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
