Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
