You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
