Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
