i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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