Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize