You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Sober January is a disaster.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize