I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
