My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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