It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
