we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
