That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
