i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
do herpes really smell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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