also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You made out with two different species that night
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My orgasm happened in two different decades
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
