Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
