She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
